Wednesday, April 1, 2015

JonTron: The Timeline


Welcome to the JonTron Timeline Project! In this, I try to uncover JonTron’s mysteries, like the disappearance of The Hat, by putting all the episodes in the correct chronological order.  


I’ve split all the JonTron episodes in Eras: some periods of time that all have something in common. We’ll start at the beginning- The Jacqueless Era.



As you may know, Jacques isn’t present or mentioned at all in some of the episodes. This is because he simply didn’t exist. He wasn’t engineered or programmed yet. Who would be Jacques’ engineer, then? That would obviously be JonTron himself. In one of the episodes, JonTron messed with Jacques’ circuit board, thus confirming that he can modify Jacques’ software and hardware. And as no other person in the show was confirmed to be able to modify Jacques, JonTron is the only option left.
Jon Jafari was a lonely person(as seen in Clock Tower), and he made Jacques to be his friend. But he wasn’t always a bird. In Barbie Games, there existed a program called iJacques. Why would there be iJacques if Jon already has Jacques? Well, iJacques is Jacques. He just doesn’t have a physical body, yet. Of course, later, Jon decided to put the program into a physical body. This places Barbie Games in The Jacqueless Era. There is one thing that contradicts this, and that’s the “Systemic Oppression” skit in the beginning, which has Jacques asking what the hell Jon is doing. That means that the skit takes place long AFTER the review chronologically. It may sound farfetched, but there’s really no explanation for Jon not to have Jacques on his shoulder, and plus, why would he use an older version of Jacques, iJacques, when he has a real Jacques?

When exactly did Jacques get a body? After numerous episodes without Jacques, that would be Daikatana. This is the first episode in the Jacques Introduction Era, the era when Jon is only getting used to Jacques  and doesn’t know his full power yet. In Daikatana, Jon sort of introduced Jacques as a character to the “viewers”, something he never did and will do again, which makes it the first episode that contains Jacques.

The next episode in Jacques Introduction is Conan Games, and it serves an important role in figuring out the purpose of The Hat.

In Conan the Barbarian, Jacques is out of his mind. He only uses his “Alarm and Kill” function, and his conscience isn’t turned on, and thus he killed Paul. Why? JonTron wouldn’t just set the alarm to literally kill everything on sight, he has SOME sense in his head. Besides, the function for an alarm feature is to ALARM, not kill. This means that his conscience was disabled, and on seeing an enemy, his most basic instinct kicked in- destroying. We know it’s his basic instinct, because, throughout the show, Jacques has been pretty violent, and sometimes did violent stuff he later might have regretted. So, why was his conscience disabled?
Notice the fact that he has no hat on, and he had his hat in Daikatana. If Conan Games stands after Daikatana, an episode with the hat, where Jacques was peaceful, and the next episode after that had no hat, and Jacques was killing everyone, that means, The Hat is the reason for Jacques’ behavior.

The explanation for this is, The Hat is a crucial part of Jacques. You read me right, The Hat is actually part of Jacques. For yet unknown reasons, The Hat calms Jacques down and lets him do rational decisions. Jon was designing Jacques with the hat on, so he didn’t know that The Hat actually makes the difference to Jacques when it’s on his creator’s head.
Doing a random Conan review, he decided to remove the hat to wear a laurel to fit the theme. That episode was the day Jon realized he should never take the mysterious Hat off. Here’s a recap of these 2 eras (click on it to see the whole thing):
Making that safe decision, JonTron moves on to The Hat Era. 

This Era may start with any episodes that doesn’t have any crucial plot points, but for the sake of Rockington I’ll start with Bubsy.

Jon was hanging out with Rockington, but Jacques interrupted the party and teleported Jon back into the house to review Bubsy 1-3. This episode is important plot-wise because Rockington was lost, and then mentioned in Nuts & Bolts.
Then, a lot of time passed, comes Stairfax. It was said by Jon that it has been 1 year since he did Daikatana. That means not just Bubsy, but a lot of other episodes came before Stairfax in The Hat Era. In Stairfax, Jon reviews Starfox Adventures and throws it into space.

After which, Jon reviews a lot of dinosaur related media(not just games, he also reviewed Jurassic Park: The Lost World), which was then mentioned in Home Improvement.

Next comes the Hatless Era. This is the Era when there is no hat, but Jacques is still there. Why? Jon removed The Hat, and Jacques can operate normally without it. This means, JonTron remade Jacques and the way he works so that he doesn’t need the Hat to not murder people and be normal. One of the episodes in this era is actually Nuts & Bolts. Yes, he has no hat there.
The disk of Starfox crashes into Nuts & Bolts in space, which causes Nuts & Bolts to rocket off to Earth. Jon exclaims that he lost Rockington, and Nuts & Bolts crashes into his backyard, and after a few casualties, Jon reviews the game, ties it to a rock and throws it into the sea. Now, there are theories that this rock may be Rockington. However, those are just theories, and we have no real confirmation on what that rock really is. Here’s the recap of these two eras:
After ridding himself of a nightmare that plagued him for so long, JonTron continued to play and review games with Jacques, his best friend. And thus, I’m concluding my take on a timeline of JonTron. Here’s a little extra for you, though.

There are actually many universes in the JonTron world. Not only are there many Future Jons, created by Girard playing Final Hallway, but there’s also Malkovich, and Sonic Team Jon. Here’s a list of all of those universes:

1. The universe where Jon Jafari decides to play and review games, and becomes JonTron. Note that “JonTron” only refers to Jon the game reviewer, and not every Jon that exists.
2. The universe where Jon Jafari decides to create a TV Show, Gaming Guilty Pleasures. This universe crosses over with the first universe. First, Malkovich hosts Gaming Guilty Pleasures in his original universe. In JonTron’s universe, there exists a show called Gaming Game Show, hosted by someone yet unknown. Then, Malkovich somehow goes into JonTron’s universe, possibly kills the original host of the show, and becomes the new host. However, it turns out that his universe crossing abilities are the only way to repel the Randor, and for him not to get hurt, he was frozen, so that he would be preserved until his powers are needed. JonTron then replaces him as the host, destroys a Randor spy, Vitelia, and awakens Malkovich.
3. Future Jons. Those are the JonTrons from the future that sent themselves back in time to stop the Final Fantasy Reckoning. The interesting thing to note about them is that they don’t have Jacques. Did he die in the future? Or is the time machine only allowing 1 person to be transported?
4. Jon decides to join Sonic Team. He also does a lot of cocaine and makes Sonic R. He wasn’t responsible for all the travesty that happened to Sonic, as JonTron, in a universe where he wasn’t in Sonic Team, still experiences the horror of what became of Sonic. This universe doesn’t cross with any other universes, it’s literally Jon doing cocaine.


That's all! If you're here and don't know what this website is, this is the devlog for JonTron: The Game. Yes, that's an actual thing, it's an RPG/Point and Click Adventure game based on JonTron's game reviews. To all others, I'LL GO BACK TO MAKING IT DADDY STOP BEATING ME PLEASE

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